Its 5:45 on a Tuesday afternoon. I'm sat in my bedroom of my parents home on the South Coast of Cornwall, England.
I've been "Home" for three and a half months now after 14 months of living in Australia and traveling New Zealand and America. And in all honesty? This does not feel like home.
After being away for a long(ish) period of time experiencing new things every day. The things I once enjoyed and took comfort in just aren't the same anymore.
I used to like the routine of knowing what to expect every day. Now I hate that every day IS the same, and there is no variation.
I used to love always having my own space. Now I get annoyed at how little social interaction I now have compared to when I was still travelling.
I'm finding my self just longing to go away again. And yes, I am working and saving as hard as I possibly can to be able to. I keep wondering where to head next, and it is actually stressing me out? It is such a luxury problem but I cannot not stress about it. I have always put a lot of pressure on myself for everything. There is so much I want to do with my life. So many places I want to go and so many things I can't wait to experience. I am terrified of making the wrong decision.
I always think to my self "let life take it's course" but I hate the thought of sitting back and letting opportunities pass me by.
I want to be able to get the most out of my next trip. See as many places as I can and be away for as long as I can manage, all on a budget. I also don't want to have to be back in England for as long as I am going to have to be again. It is driving me crazy. I have so many different options and I can't get straight which one I want to do most, and which one will be the best.
I think my biggest dilema at the moment is working out if I save just enough to go away again, but for a shorter time, and meaning I will have to stay a while when I'm next back. Or to stay here a while longer, and save enough to not have to come back for a long time, and to not have to stay for ages when I next do.
Its such a tough, but very luxury problem.
Who knows what I'll do?